I’ve covered 3,000 miles during road trips in the past four weeks. The majority of the miles were covered with my husband, son, and dog. Due to motion sickness and what some may call “control issues” historically I’ve been the family driver. I’m not sure what happened to cause me to loosen up a bit, but this change in attitude and newly found motion sickness medicine has made me quite comfortable with riding shotgun and left plenty of time for reflection.
My first road trip memories involve my dad behind the wheel. He was militant about making good time. There were scheduled bathroom stops and scarfing down fast food in the car. Anything that caused us to slow down was seen as a major annoyance. This includes many, MANY run-ins with radar guns and a college fund amount of money in speeding tickets. The most vivid memory I have of adventures with my dad behind the wheel is when a bird collided with the windshield of our Volkswagen Rabbit. My father refused to stop even though his vision was completely compromised. He drove the entire length of the state of Florida with his head hanging out the window like a Labrador because he refused to stop.
As a single person I went on a lot of solo road trips. For various reasons I don’t remember the majority of them. I’m fairly certain I’ve done my best to forget those years of freedom to preserve my current mental health. I do remember being so bored driving through Nebraska that I ate an entire pound of Twizzlers. I was sure I would be found on the side of the road slumped over the steering wheel with a look of shame on my face and cornfields as the backdrop.
Now the majority of my adventures include a kid, sometimes a husband and dog. The first time I drove a long distance alone with my son was fantastic. That was until we hit Baltimore rush hour traffic. For those of you who don’t know, Baltimore rush hour is the absolute worst. Imagine driving on a road packed full of blindfolded, angry drivers. That’s what it’s like. Since I was trying to “make good time” I ignored the early signs of nature calling. The combination of the crazy drivers plus a full bladder was almost too much to take. And then my two year old learned how to unfasten his car seat all on his own. We made it to our destination safely, but I’m pretty sure I shaved years off of my life during the last 45 minutes of that drive.
A few weeks ago my family and I drove the entire span of Florida. It brought back memories of the bird in the windshield incident and reminded me to relax and enjoy the time together. It also caused me to briefly long for a powder blue Volkswagen Rabbit. Lucky for me a friend gave me a the best road trip pro tip before our recent journey. He said that when a bathroom is needed to stop at a fancy hotel, walk in with authority, don’t make eye contact, and beeline for the bathroom. It’s guaranteed to be cleaner than a truck stop. If you’re feeling extra confident grab a cookie from the lobby. Genius.
What are your favorite road trip stories and tips? Please share something humorous! Trump has taken my funny.
